Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire

I knew it was going to be rough moving back to the Toledo area once the cold weather kicked in, but my goodness this morning was chilly! I'm the type of person who tries to hold off on wearing pants until the first snowfall, but with early mornings like yesterday and today, I don't know if I'll be able to hold out that long wearing shorts and sandals to work.

Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000)

I don't think I've ever had an entire year where I watched more than one Disney Channel movie a year and now I've watched two in October alone! This one surprised me, which I'll get into a bit later.

First, the story! We meet a little shithead 13-year-old constantly spouting what I have to believe is the writer's idea of clever dialogue, complete with the most annoying inflection. I really didn't like him. He's watching an over-the-top vampire movie while his little brother watches, terrified from behind the couch. He and his 16-year-old daughter throw a few early 2000s insults back and forth before their mom shuts them down. Eventually, both get grounded for different reasons, and it's very inconvenient because they have big plans. Adam has backstage passes to a "Headless Horseman" concert while Chelsea has a date. So they concoct a scheme to get their mother a date of her own to sneak out while she goes out. It's not a very good plan. They do this by trying to set up a chance meeting, with only one person, at a grocery store, hoping they'll hit off enough that their mother will agree to the date. Despite the meager chance of success, it works! Unfortunately, the person they set her up with is a vampire!

You know what surprised me? I liked it. I mainly enjoyed Charles Shaughnessy's performance as the vampire "Dimitry." He doesn't quite play the role as a cartoon character but he's charmingly hammy in the role. The first time you see him, you only see his arm coming out of a coffin, checking his email. There's something so silly and funny about the visual of the camera panning from a coffin to the year 2000 computer. A vampire lying in a coffin while checking his email is an image that I didn't know I needed right now. To punctuate the absurdity of the scene, the unseen vampire evilly laughs while reading the email from Adam trying to hook him up with his mom.

Anytime the movie spends time with Dimitry is a good time. When you first see him, he's just a charming guy out doing some shopping. The facade doesn't last long, because this is a Disney TV movie and subtlety goes right out the window. They keep hammering home that this dude is a vampire. Like, as soon as he leaves the grocery store, he drops his bag and then turns into a bat. Then, once Adam realizes he's a vampire, he's just sitting there, smiling and showing his fangs, and no one but Adam notices. The way the movie plays it, I don't think that Dimitry notices it either. I love how it seems like the actor seems to be having a great time. He knows what kind of movie he's in and he hams it up in a very fun and entertaining way.

I enjoyed that as the movie goes on the more unhinged Dimitry gets. He's fed up with everyone. From the mom's flakiness, the kids screwing with him and the upcoming sunrise, his patience is running out. I also love how unabashedly evil he is. Near the end, Adam gets his coffin into a river. As you know, vampires can't cross running water, which begs the question as to why Dimitry would set up shop on the shore of a river. Anyways, he convinces Adam to come back to land by promising he won't kill his sister who he's currently holding hostage. Once Adam agrees and get out of the water, the vampire lets Adam know he has no intention of holding up his end of the deal.

The movie struggles when Dimitry isn't on screen because the cast isn't the greatest and I didn't care for Adam and Chelsea. I didn't mind the mother mainly because I like the actress from her role on "Sabrina the Teenage Witch." What? Dear rewatched the series and I caught an episode or two! It's not bad.

Anyway, it's a fun movie, it's no "Lost Boys," but it's entertaining, especially if you're familiar with the classics because this movie shoehorns a bunch of references. While on their date, the waiter asks Dimitry if he wants wine and he responds, "I don't drink... wine." Which is similar to what Dracula told Renfeild. There are also the kids trying to reveal Dimitry during dinner, and the movie theater they walk past is playing "The Lost Boys." There are others, but those are the big ones.

The biggest mark in this movie's favor, it wasn't too scary for Lincoln, despite his reservations about watching it. I'm eagerly waiting to be able to watch more horror movies as he gets older.